Part 2: New Approach

The benefits of not responding to a troubling behavior in the moment help de-escalate the situation at hand and give the student time to relax, and the teacher time to think how to respond accordingly. Once the situation has simmered the adult should start the empathy step to offer consol and listen to their concerns. Then you identify what your concerns are as the teacher in the room in why the displayed behavior is unacceptable. Lastly, you invite the child to work collaboratively with you to overcome this problem as partners!

In the video, Dr. Green says, "figure out what problem caused the heat of the moment in the first place and the next opportunity you have, start solving that problem proactively." This quote resonated with me because it highlights the importance of not reacting impulsively. When we react right away, our emotions are more raw. While we may respond in a way that shows we are "the boss" (something he says later on), there is nothing productive about our response. However, by taking a step back and thinking through the situation, we can perhaps provide a better response to the student and respond in a productive way. 

This resonated with me because I think it is the missing piece in addressing behavior with students. By finding out what they were thinking and feeling you can have them be part of the solution. When I speak to my students and they say they don’t know what they were feeling, I know my students need direct instruction on feelings and communicating their emotions. We often forget that kids need to be taught about these things just as they need to be taught to read and write. 

One of the quotes that resonated the most with me was Dr. Greene's comment that "there's nothing fabulous you can do in the heat of the moment."  It’s so easy to want to react in the moment.  How many of us have ever left an argument and thought of twenty great things that we could have said after the fact and made some plan to do better next time?  But that’s exactly Greene’s point: you cannot have that kind of deeper thinking in the moment whether you are the adult or the child.  His quote reminds me to take a moment and use the space to allow everyone to come back together in an appropriate mindset to solve the issue. 

"When we're rewarding and punishing, it's something we're doing TO them.  And I find that it's a lot more productive and a lot more effective to do something WITH them, as partners, as teammates, rather than using parental power to make something happen."  I felt like this defined my already existing mentality regarding behavior management.  I prefer to build a co-relationship with my own children, and my students, that works together over a long-term.  This is far more effective than trying to scold, or punish, them in the heat of the moment.  It works very well at home, but in my role as an interventionist at school, I work in short periods of time with many students so I am not able to build that lasting relationship.  I struggle with how to manage their behavior during our sessions together because I find those "heat of the moment" behaviors frequently.  

"There is nothing fabulous in the heat of the moment." 

Just before starting this assignment, I told a student that not every person is great at switching gears immediately. As this video shows, it is a skill that many of us have to learn. It is okay not to respond to a situation or even a question immediately in order to guarantee a more appropriate response. 

I have personally learned to take a breath and allow time for auditory processing before responding to any question. Repeating the question in a neutral tone helps in situations that silence might be misconstrued. Modeling this behavior for my students encourages them not to react immediately to every outside stimulus. 

The key with this approach is recognizing the child's deeper need and lack of a certain skill set. They need specific instruction on how to self-manage and better engage in positive behaviors. Although it feels "common sense" to me, that isn't the case for every teacher/student relationship. Also, we need to recognize that for a child with behavioral challenges, they are also learning to discern the way they are acting between their primary environments. School and home often look very different. What is acceptable at home may not be acceptable at school, which can lead to confusion and frustration. Working with kids as opposed to against them is the only way they will be successful.

Several quotes resonated with me as I listened.  One quote is, "focus on the problems that cause the behaviors."  As a parent, you spend more time with your child in different scenarios.  It may be "easier" to identify the cause of a behavior because of that.  As a high school teacher, I see students in one scenario, sitting in an ELA class.  I do not often see them in other scenarios.  That makes it more challenging to identify the cause of behavior.  It could be something from a students home life, or even something that happened the class period before and they are upset.  I have implemented a rule with my students that all they need to do it give me a signal that they are having a bad day.  This way I do not take any negative behaviors and address it as a problem, but just give them a bit of a break for the Mod.  Sometimes this works, sometimes it does not. 

When addressing behavior, Dr. Greene mentions that kids should be treated as the "teammate not the adversary." This is a proactive way of addressing student behavior because you are making the student part of the solution. He mentions that this practice of including students into the problem solving component diminshes negative behavior and is much more effective than "heat of the moment" reactions. 

A quote that stood out was that “there is nothing to do in the heat of the moment, except calm”.  Then come back later to teach the appropriate skills.  As a parent, I have used this strategy several times. Albeit difficult, it is extremely true.  People cannot think rationally when they are emotional, it is much easier to problem solve some new ways to handle a situation later, when some time has lapsed from the situation.  I spent some time this year focusing on skill response to anger and frustration and I really feel it helped my students and created an amazing classroom environment.