The quote from the video that really resonated with me was, "When we're rewarding and
punishing, it's something we're doing to them. And I find that it's a lot
more productive and a lot more effective to do something with them, as
partners, as teammates, rather than using parental power to make something
happen." As I have worked through this very challenging
year, I have learned that the more you build relationships and stop making heated
decisions the better it is for the student and even yourself. For example, one
of my students shuts down often, just changing the wording from, “here are your
options”, to “what do you need from me to help you” has made a huge difference! They respond so much calmer, and actually have
started making decisions on their own that are far better than the decisions
that were previously being made, when they were “heated”. Another quote that
fits is, “Behaviorally challenging kids are not lacking
motivation...behaviorally challenging kids are lacking some very important
skills in the very global domains of flexibility, adaptability, frustration
tolerance, problem solving." This is something that reminds me
of the importance of having and planning those SEL lessons to help give
students more ways to cope with their big emotions that they experience inside
and outside of school.
