Stretching Our Thinking

What I've always found interesting about micro-aggressions is that the person saying them generally feels like they're giving a compliment (not always). It seems like it's really a lack of education for most people. The first time I learned about micro-aggressions I was really taken back by what I learned and it really forced me to think about the things I was thinking. It seems that micro-aggressions are really tied into implicit biases. 

Responding to Microaggressions: 1.       Ask questions to get at any underlying assumptions 2.       Acknowledge what happened to the person affected 3.       Be an active bystander and explain to the person saying or behaving in a negative way why their actions have a negative impact, even if unintentional. Microaggressions can be subtle and occur despite our best intentions. How can we reflect on our own microaggressions? Ask ourselves, ·         What was my intention? ·         What assumptions are behind what I said? ·         What is the impact? Microaggressions and invalidate or exotify someone’s identity, or imply stereotypical expectations, even when intended to be complimentary.

It's important to ask questions about what happened and make sure you are an active bystander to make sure the person know that what they said or did was bad. The where are you from is good question to get to know someone but when you add the word really it changes the meaning and put out a negative connotation that you aren't truly in the place you live. Saying our students names correctly is so important. 

After watching the “Responding to Microaggressions” video, I am incredibly guilty of perpetuating microaggressions without meaning to. I am a big advocate of being culturally responsive to my students, and I want them to be comfortable sharing with me their backgrounds and where they come from. Typically my first question is “where are you from?” or “what language do you speak?”. I never really thought of this being negative, but this video really hit home for me that it points out that I recognize my students as being different. If they want to share these parts of their lives with me they can, but I should not be pushing them and pointing out their differences. I am making a stereotype based on their appearance/accents.

I think everyone has said something to someone that would be considered a microaggression.  95% of those microaggressions are unintended, while 5% intended.  I think the more exposure one has to diverse populations the less frequently one has an accidental slip. It usually comes from a lack of background knowledge about a particular segment of the population.

For middle and high school students, spending a lot of time around their peers can be rough. Some kids have no filter when it comes to microaggressions.  How many times have you had to take a student aside and explain to them why they shouldn't have said what they did. It can even be  more disturbing when they intended it!

I found those students, who are not deemed attractive by peers or are considered nerds or not fashionable, to be the most frequent targets. Valuing targeted students for their contributions and affording them opportunities to socialize with their favored peers is very important so they won't feel isolated.

Adults need to model behaviors that value all so that our students can see what appropriate interactions look and sound like. In order to do this, we must be sure to think before we speak.

There were two that stuck out to me. The first was “I feel so OCD today”. I had no idea why that would offend the Muslim girl, and I had to do a google search about it. I learned that it doesn’t really have anything to do with the fact that she is Muslim, and more to do with the fact that we shouldn’t throw around terms about serious health disorders, like OCD and bipolar, to describe your current mood because it marginalizes what they’re going through. The second was, “I can’t say your name. I’ll just call you J.” That’s a tough one when you work in a school, particularly when you are the librarian with many classes, and have hundreds of names to learn and some can be very difficult. First off, a lot of kids don’t seem to want to draw attention to themselves in any way, and they really would hate the teacher to pause class to work out saying their name correctly. I pick up on that embarrassment, and sometimes just avoid saying their name altogether if I know I’m going to butcher it. But at the same time, “you… in the green!” or “sweetheart” can only take you so far, and sometimes I feel like that’s actually worse than making an attempt to say the name. I definitely have asked before if there is a nickname I can call them instead – guilty.

I watched the video responding to microaggressions and my favorite response was asking a question to get at any unconscious biases. 

I watched Responding to Microaggressions. I agree that they can be subtle…and what assumptions can be made. It’s tricky when I think about asking someone where they’re from. Perhaps it’s just conversation and looking to connect with them in a particular way…it’s worrisome that someone might assume I’m exhibiting a microaggression and trying to “other” them.

I thought the “I can’t say your name so I’ll call you J” was an interesting microaggression. Frankly, I witnessed versions of this in my teaching career. Since I’ve been primarily high school, by the time students get to me they’re fully aware that their name is challenging for typical English-speaking teachers to pronounce. Many times they would have a handy nickname ready for me.

The first day of class would go something like this …

ME: Can you please pronounce your name correctly for me?
STUDENT: Pronounces name …with a quick followup…you can call me __________ blank. Blank is a shortened version of this name and easy to pronounce. It’s also a name that most students called this individual.  

Looking back …at times I realize I took the easy way out.   Now the hair touching is interesting…students loved to touch my hair… not male but female. I always found that fascinating. So, it’s a microaggression, which I get if it’s not what someone wants…hmmm.  

I think students would understand this comparison. Students experience microaggressions often. For example, I had a Nepali student come to me and ask why does everyone think I am from China and ask me to speak Mandarin? He was experiencing a microaggression in the form of someone believing all/most Asian people are from China. I would not share this video with students, especially the students I teach because I think it can be triggering to hear all these microaggressions at once. 

I feel like I may have inadvertently engaged in microaggressions in the past and I can definitely sympathize with the individuals that may impart them if they are not intended ill will. Part of overcoming cultural barriers involves bridging the gap to understanding, and I do admire questions and efforts to learn more about and become more comfortable with people who look and act differently than us. Because I did have such good intentions, it took learning about how these statements make others feel in order to recognize the behavior in myself. Now I am very cognizant of my language and how to frame comments and questions in a way that actually does compliment the other and doesn't make them feel othered.