Part 3 Beyond the Episode

I think the most useful takeaway for me was seeing how unconditional positive regard isn’t about lowering expectations, but it focuses more on maintaining respect, setting boundaries, and showing belief in a student’s ability to improve. Students notice when adults are consistent, and that can hopefully build trust and increase participation over time. My next step is to work more with the sped teacher to look at strategies for our students, and make sure we’re both working together to reinforce these expectations. I think a lot of this was useful. Especially reflecting on the proper ways to speak to students, even if they are misbehaving. 

After reflecting on this information and reading the article from Verywellmind, my next steps are to be more intentional about showing unconditional positive regard in daily interactions with every person I interact with, but especially with students who struggle with confidence or behavior. It’s easy to praise effort and achievement, this comes very naturally in PE classes, but I want to make sure my students feel valued simply for who they are. Regardless of their actions or their abilities, I want to offer consistent support and be a gentle reminder that one bad day doesn’t define their worth. As I was listening, I thought to myself that this is something I'd want to share with my own children in the future to help them feel accepted and develop their self worth, but also teach them the right way to treat other people. Like the article stated, this allows people to align who they are and who they want to be. It’s a powerful reminder that our words can directly impact how students see themselves long after they leave our classrooms.

After learning more about unconditional positive regard, I think we need to be be more intentional about showing it every day, especially with students who test boundaries or seem disengaged. I have a hard time going back once someone has pushed me too far. I want to pause before reacting and remind myself that behavior is communication, not defiance. Reading the article helped me understand how the original idea connects directly to the classroom an dhow simply being seen and accepted can completely change how a student feels about school.

For me, I’m going to continue to embrace an attitude of acceptance and love not only for my students but also for myself. It’s important to value and care for yourself first before you can truly value others. You have to practice what you preach. I also need to remind myself that unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean that I need to necessarily approve of every action a student is taking, but instead, it means that I need to recognize and value who they are beyond their behavior. This perspective will help me to remember that even when students don’t always make the best choices, they still deserve understanding, support, and compassion. I would share this information with my colleagues. This mindset is paramount now more than ever. Embracing this positive mindset will help us look beyond our students’ behaviors and truly understand, value, and support them as individuals. I will continue to have a therapeutic response to my students, responding with understanding and care. This information was useful as it is not just a mindset that should be used in the classroom, but outside of it as well. This attitude will aid in building more compassionate and positive relationships with others.

I think ultimately the takeaway is that this can have a big impact on how the student feels about themself, and in time, others. As stated in the interview, many of the students we have now are more unmotivated, more entitled, and more disrespectful than ever. By showing students we are going to care about them no matter what, we give them a sense of value. 

I have heard many people say that respect is earned but this shifts it a little bit into the idea that care is not. Once you are in my class, I care about you as a person, as a student, and as someone with worth. The little things we do day to day can demonstrate this to students and break down some of the walls they have built up for reasons outside of the classroom. I liked how in the second article on the pyschology behind it, it gives an easy way to demonstrate this. It recommended that we can simply modify phrasing and this little thing can go a long way. For instance, instead of saying "Your behavior is unacceptable" we can say, "I care about you, but what you are doing is hurting others..." and then explain it so they understand. Sometimes, when we "chide" student is can become a trigger and they start to feel shame rather than trying to correct their behavior. When students feel shame, they withdraw and can't learn. We can help students learn that their behavior may need changing, but assure them that they are still worthy to be in our classroom, and deserves to be there by these simply rephrases. 

Unconditional Positive Regard helps students feel cared for, appreciated, heard and valued. 
Unconditional positive regard connects with the concept of “unconditional teaching”. Traditionally, schools have promoted a kind of conditional acceptance when they elevate achievement and obedience rather than building community and relationships. Unconditional teachers accept students for who they are, not what they do.
We accept them for who they are!
I make sure to tell my students that I care about them, regardless of what they accomplish or achieve in our academic work together. I also show them that I care about them, no matter what. 
Sometimes unconditional positive regard is just as simple as how we greet our students when they are late to class: how I greet them can communicate either my unconditional care or my lack of regard. If I don’t have unconditional positive regard, I might roll my eyes and sarcastically say, “Nice of you to show up.” This response tells students that I care about them only as long as they meet my expectations. Otherwise, they are an inconvenience. Even if I don’t mean to communicate this, small moments add up. If students comes to my class and I roll my eyes, if they go into the hallway and are told to take off their hat, if they sit down at lunch and are warned to speak more quietly, then the cumulative message of school is that orderliness is the most important thing.
Instead, I can greet my student with “Hey! It’s great to see you today. Settle in a minute and then I’ll catch you up.” When we work from unconditional positive regard, the message is that I value you for who you are, not what you do or how you do it. This doesn’t mean that I won’t address attendance issues later, but my priority when my students arrive isn’t to scold them about compliance. My priority is to greet them in a way that says they matter and that their presence is more important than how fast they got here.

I did a quick search and found this article. https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/57646/how-unconditional-positive-regard-can-help-students-feel-cared-for ;
An interesting thing I noticed in the article is the difference between "caring for" a student and "caring about" a student.  Caring "for" is a much more active idea "whereas caring about a student allows us to keep our distance." Caring "for" is something we can learn to do and get better at.  I appreciate the reminder of how effective using a student's name can be.  And that we don't get to know our friends with a survey at the beginning of the year, so why would we get to know our students that way? We get to know each other by spending time together and talking, and that's what I have to do to get to know my students.  
One thing was self-affirming, though.  The example about a student coming in late.  When a student comes in late, I often greet them and tell them it's good to see them or that I'm glad they're here.  I've wondered if other people in the room think I should be chastising their tardiness. It's nice to know I'm doing something right.  

Unconditional positive regard means offering compassion to people even if they have done something wrong. Again, this particular article and podcast have been all about showing complete love, support, and acceptance to all. It's all about showing our students (and the people we care about) that I care about you, you have value, you don’t have to do anything to prove it to me, and nothing will change my mind...

I would definitely share this important and valuable information with my colleagues and my wife. First, my colleagues, since we're obviously in the same profession- teaching, and sharing my takeaways with them regarding UPR and most likely them sharing their first impressions and feedback with me. In the profession of teaching, it's all about sharing- information, strategies, best practice, lessons, etc. Second, my wife, this would definitely be a good parenting conversation to have regarding our son and teaching him about having patience, acceptance, and compassion for other people at school, at church, and on his sport's teams... I look forward to having these conversations with my colleagues and wife. Also, I look forward to challenging myself (and reflecting on) to UPR and offering that compassion, patience, support, and acceptance to all of my students!

The bottom line is, according to the Positive Psychology article, UPR is an attitude that allows the child to feel loved and accepted and facilitates the development of self-worth and self-confidence. Not everyone has this sense of self worth and it is important to have or develop this. One way to have a student (or a child you are parenting) is to allow some independence. This can be choice on assignments, self reflection. If the child has more independence, they in turn have more confidence, and that will mean they will be more likely to increase their effort (intrinsic motivation) to progress towards any goals they may have. 

In terms of sharing this information, I would pick my wife. We love being parents and are always looking for ways we can be better in that role. We both (in my opinion) do an outstanding job and I think it leads to good discussion on what we are trying to achieve with out children (children who are confident and show love to all).

I thought the section about UPR for teachers in the Positive Psychology website was interesting.  It is not very dissimilar to what a parent would want for their child.  It seems as though the bulleted item below are pretty ingrained in many of the elementary classrooms that I am in. Recognizing students for achievement and giving specific praise for actions and decisions is something I have seem on many occasions with our students.
Offering choice and encouraging independence is probably something that we all ca do more of to help, as the article puts it, increase the child’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem.  It is easy to ignore choice and independence as we feel the pressure to guide and grow our students academic proficiency.  The need to teach our content and grow our kids reading, math, etc… makes it sometimes hard to provide choice and allow for independence, especially when they are not meeting benchmarks in many cases.  Revisiting this concept may be helpful since a student who has a higher sense of self-esteem is likely to preform better and work harder towards goals that not.  

• Giving the child honest recognition for their success and achievement.
• Offering specific (as opposed to overly general) praise for their good decisions and actions.
• Respecting the child by offering them choices, abiding by their decisions, and explaining the reasoning behind our own decisions.
• Help them achieve competence by encouraging them to be independent and offer diverse opportunities to be challenged and to be successful.