I learned early in my career that I have to be the grownup. If a student hurts my feelings or behaves in a way I find disrespectful, I can't let that interfere with my job and I can't hold a grudge. I have to wipe the slate clean, start fresh, and greet the student with a positive approach the next day. I think that's part of what unconditional positive regard is. Students don't have to do anything to earn my care, and there's virtually nothing that can take it away. At my core, this is something I feel. I care for these kids just because they're my students and they're in my daily circle.
But I feel like I have trouble showing that sometimes.
Perhaps ironically, it's harder for me to ask questions and learn about students' personal lives than it is for me feel the genuine care and concern for them. I can gradually connect with that one "tough kid," but connecting with the 23 others is harder for me. Besides my own social anxieties, I think I get so caught up in the content-teaching tasks that I sometimes fail to make time for the relationship building. But I think the relationship-building is more important now than it ever has been. I need to get better at asking the open-ended questions that get kids talking about their passions. I need to give them opportunities to be the expert and teach me a few things. I need to not worry so much about the planning and grading that are hanging over my head and keep my door open so students can come in and talk.
But I feel like I have trouble showing that sometimes.
Perhaps ironically, it's harder for me to ask questions and learn about students' personal lives than it is for me feel the genuine care and concern for them. I can gradually connect with that one "tough kid," but connecting with the 23 others is harder for me. Besides my own social anxieties, I think I get so caught up in the content-teaching tasks that I sometimes fail to make time for the relationship building. But I think the relationship-building is more important now than it ever has been. I need to get better at asking the open-ended questions that get kids talking about their passions. I need to give them opportunities to be the expert and teach me a few things. I need to not worry so much about the planning and grading that are hanging over my head and keep my door open so students can come in and talk.