As I first approached this assignment, I
immediately thought of Meet the Parents. If you’ve seen the movie you
probably remember “the circle of trust.” Robert De Niro’s character, Jack, a
former CIA agent and overly protective father, is obsessed with making sure his
future son-in-law Greg is a trustworthy and honorable husband for Pam, his only
daughter. From his point of view, a person is either in or out of his circle of
trust; there’s nothing in between.
I think we all have multiple circles,
each with varying degrees of trust, depending on the people, context of the
relationship, and the circumstances involved.
My innermost circle is the Core. This is
the circle of trust reserved for the closest relationships in my life. This
level of trust is characterized by the people that know my hopes, dreams,
fears, and insecurities. These relationships have the highest levels of trust
because they also have the highest levels of vulnerability.
Over the course of time, these relationships have experienced increased amounts of personal disclosure and the parties have developed a history of respecting and protecting the vulnerabilities of each other. My trusted circle of confidants includes the majority of people that are similar to me as far as sex and race. They vary as far as education, job history, location, politics and nationality. I seem to “collect” members for my circle as I move through life. Some members have remained constant since grade school and others are more recent. This task has given me food for thought on the diversity or lack of it within my close circle.
Jack Byrnes: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realises what's truely important. Do you know what that is?
Greg Focker: Love... friendship... enjoying the moment... living... just love.
Jack Byrnes: His legacy.
Greg Focker: That, too. Right, yeah. Sure.
Jack Byrnes: Let me put it very simply. If your family's circle does indeed join my family's circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain.
I don't believe I have any chinks in my chain :)
Over the course of time, these relationships have experienced increased amounts of personal disclosure and the parties have developed a history of respecting and protecting the vulnerabilities of each other. My trusted circle of confidants includes the majority of people that are similar to me as far as sex and race. They vary as far as education, job history, location, politics and nationality. I seem to “collect” members for my circle as I move through life. Some members have remained constant since grade school and others are more recent. This task has given me food for thought on the diversity or lack of it within my close circle.
Jack Byrnes: Greg, a man reaches a certain age when he realises what's truely important. Do you know what that is?
Greg Focker: Love... friendship... enjoying the moment... living... just love.
Jack Byrnes: His legacy.
Greg Focker: That, too. Right, yeah. Sure.
Jack Byrnes: Let me put it very simply. If your family's circle does indeed join my family's circle, they'll form a chain. I can't have a chink in my chain.
I don't believe I have any chinks in my chain :)