The first I reviewed was Ms. Dilbeck's Sensory Pathway for Hess Elementary School. I think she explained the rationale and need for the project exceedingly well, mentioning how the path would benefit all students. I like how Ms. Dilbeck mentioned how some students identified with autism are in a gen. ed. setting and how the pathway could work to "decrease anxiety and behaviors and help with focus and attention so all of our students can have more success in their classrooms." In addition, I noticed that she included 7-8 tags as well as a picture example similar to her goal for the pathway. She also briefly explained how each piece of the pathway would benefit students, which was great! However, it is obvious that little attention had been paid to grammar/mechanics, and some advanced vocabulary without explanation of the meaning. The grammar/mechanics isn't a huge issue for me--no one is perfect, but it's pretty much non-existent besides periods and capitalization, which may be off-putting towards some donors. In addition, she utilized advanced word choice such as "proprioceptive input" and "vestibular input" without much explanation, which may appear intimidating to some donors. I don't think they're MAJOR issues, but at the same time, you're trying to convince people to donate their hard earned money to your project. I'm sure there are some donors that come from a SpEd or health services background, but I'm guessing that most don't. Therefore, they would have absolutely no clue as to what the meaning is of those big, fancy words. Also, I tend to notice more of the mechanical/grammatical mistakes that people make in their writing, so I'm not sure if anyone else would even notice some of the corrections that needed to be made. If it were my project, I wouldn't want to take any chances. Why would I give someone a reason to pass up on my brilliant project?
Second, I reviewed the Emergency Support for Students project for William H Mason Elementary School. Mrs. Hebert, founder of the project, did a phenomenal job describing the population and community of students that she works with. The description concise, but I feel that if I were to donate, that my money would be making a real impact in these students' lives. I also enjoyed the rhetoric used in her appeal; it really made it stand out. The "My Project" section was also extremely concise, and I feel like she could have expanded a bit more. I liked how she mentioned that she has purchased several items for her classroom, but her budget simply did not allow for it. Similar to Ms. Dilbeck, she used several tags, but she included a picture of her classroom door, which makes sense. I felt her appeal was extremely effective and pulled at the heart strings.
Lastly, I viewed Mrs. Sprouse's Coffee is the Best Monday Motivation Project for C T OVerton Elementary School. To be honest, I LOVE her project and the goals motivating it. All sections are concise yet full of voice and enthusiasm. I enjoyed how she tied in academic goals as well as social skills goals as well as the critical importance of both to thrive in our society. I also enjoy how Mrs. Sprouse explicitly stated how the project and activities would benefit the student's academically as well as realistically. For example, she said " The children are working on verbal communication making eye contact and following multi-step directions as well as developing strong math, reading, and writing abilities" without making the reader feel incompetent. I also enjoyed how she focused more on the students' attitudes rather than demographics and the importance of the project to their lives. I can't really think of any criticisms for this one other than maybe using more tags (she only used 4), but I'm also extremely biased.
Second, I reviewed the Emergency Support for Students project for William H Mason Elementary School. Mrs. Hebert, founder of the project, did a phenomenal job describing the population and community of students that she works with. The description concise, but I feel that if I were to donate, that my money would be making a real impact in these students' lives. I also enjoyed the rhetoric used in her appeal; it really made it stand out. The "My Project" section was also extremely concise, and I feel like she could have expanded a bit more. I liked how she mentioned that she has purchased several items for her classroom, but her budget simply did not allow for it. Similar to Ms. Dilbeck, she used several tags, but she included a picture of her classroom door, which makes sense. I felt her appeal was extremely effective and pulled at the heart strings.
Lastly, I viewed Mrs. Sprouse's Coffee is the Best Monday Motivation Project for C T OVerton Elementary School. To be honest, I LOVE her project and the goals motivating it. All sections are concise yet full of voice and enthusiasm. I enjoyed how she tied in academic goals as well as social skills goals as well as the critical importance of both to thrive in our society. I also enjoy how Mrs. Sprouse explicitly stated how the project and activities would benefit the student's academically as well as realistically. For example, she said " The children are working on verbal communication making eye contact and following multi-step directions as well as developing strong math, reading, and writing abilities" without making the reader feel incompetent. I also enjoyed how she focused more on the students' attitudes rather than demographics and the importance of the project to their lives. I can't really think of any criticisms for this one other than maybe using more tags (she only used 4), but I'm also extremely biased.